Still hard

Life's still hard. I hit rock-bottom on Saturday in a way I've never seen before. Sure I can lock myself away and move through life's marathon one step at a time, but I feel alone. I have Hoger when he's here, but he's struggling too. We're both in a place where it's difficult to help the other. Today I officially have no friends. OK, call me pessimistic, or whatever, but I have no-one (this doesn't include Hoger of course). No-one who will pick up the phone to call and see how I'm doing, no-one who'll offer to come and help me with something (anything), no-one who's wondering why I'm not participating in my usual activities, no-one who sees it as their burden to look out for me. No-one's looking. Wow, it's a lonely world sometimes.